One of the greatest challenges as a homeschool mom is finding alone time. Do you wonder how in the world a homeschool mom can ever get the precious commodity of alone time?

Honestly, finding the time you need to nurture YOU isn’t necessarily easy. It takes intentionality and planning. Don’t be discouraged, though; the good news is, you can make alone time happen!

Why Is Alone Time So Difficult For Homeschool Moms?

You Chose to Homeschool

The number one reason it’s hard to get alone time as a homeschool mom is simply this: you’re choosing to be home with people all day long! Your kids need you, and they need you in great quantities. Depending on the ages of your children, it’s not like you can just leave the kids unsupervised, right?! They need your constant presence to keep them safe.

However, even as they move into the elementary ages, they’re still looking to you for guidance and instruction in their schooling. You are still heavily needed. T

hey need you for so many things: running the schedule, reading the books, prepping snacks and lunch, mediating disagreements with siblings, checking the work, etc. The list can feel never-ending.

Actually, the list is never-ending!

Family Life After School is Busy

Besides kids needing your physical presence during the homeschool day, there are most likely family needs during the evening. Whether it’s cooking a meal, taking kids to sports, groups or activities, or facilitating bedtime, your parental duties don’t disappear after your school day is over-they just look different.

Additionally, families are busier than ever. We have meetings for church groups, volunteer groups, and clubs. We have commitments to friends and family. We’re serving, volunteering, chauffeuring, planning, shopping, etc. There are only so many hours in the day, and those hours quickly fill up.

Moms Struggle to Ask for What They Need

The third reason I believe homeschool moms struggle to find alone time is because we don’t do well asking for what we need. We easily tell our kids what we need them to do all day long, yet when it comes to letting others know what we need for ourselves, that can prove quite difficult.

There are several reasons we struggle in this area. Here are some ideas that come to mind:

• We’re unaware of what we even need or want.
• We’re not sure our spouse/family will hear our request and honor our needs.
• We’re too tired or burnt out to care about prioritizing our needs.
• We feel guilty for needing alone time.
• We believe we should give of ourselves continuously and find complete fulfillment in doing so.
• Healthy self-care wasn’t modeled for us.

If you identify with any of these, you likely struggle to voice your needs and get the alone time you crave.

Am I Selfish for Wanting Alone Time?

While I won’t address all the reasons we might struggle to get alone time as homeschool moms, I do want to address the idea that you’re selfish for wanting alone time. I’m here to tell you (if no one has already): YOU ARE NOT!

After you’ve been with your kids day in and day out, week after week, it’s natural to need time to yourself. Hello!

Also, for some of us introverted moms, the need for alone time can be necessary after just one day of homeschooling. For others, it may even be after a few hours. Only you know your situation and life season. No one else is walking in your shoes and can fully understand what you are experiencing daily.

You also know best the challenges and struggles you face as a mom dealing with your own stuff. This can be physical or mental health issues, relationship challenges, financial stressors, and more.

We all need time to recharge. Even the most extroverted moms can benefit from getting alone time.

Alone time provides needed space for reflective activities like delving into thoughts and feelings, brainstorming creative solutions to problems, or spending time in prayer and spiritual practices. It’s also the perfect time to rest, engage in hobbies, and allow space for our souls to breathe.

How to Ask for the Alone Time You Need

You know you want alone time, and need to present that desire to others in your house to make alone time a reality. So, how do you ask for what you need? Here are a few tips:

Be specific About Your Needs

Let your family know exactly what you need. Is it one hour alone in your bedroom? A trip to the library by yourself? Perhaps an entire evening off duty once a week. Reflect on what it will look like to satisfy your alone time needs.

Schedule Alone Time

I don’t believe every moment of alone time should require major planning. While you might need to connect with your spouse in advance to ensure child care is covered, a flexible relationship should be able to make space for urgent or unplanned needs for alone time.

Every mom experiences overwhelm, tiredness, or exhaustion. Especially after a full day with kids and homeschooling adventures! Some days, all that’s needed is to hand the kids off to your spouse for 30 minutes while you lay on the bed in blessed quietness.

Be creative

Alone time doesn’t always mean you have to be completely alone. I’ve found that with a little creativity, I can create moments of alone time that are very fulfilling, even during the school day.

It’s easy to resign yourself to the idea that alone time will never happen and just give up. But, I’ve got a few helpful tips that can help make time to yourself a reality!

Tips for Getting Alone Time as A Homeschool Mom

Try to find snippets of alone time while you’re still at home with the kids. These small but precious moments can provide you space, without enlisting outside help.

Possible ideas include:

• Putting on a movie or TV show
• Having a daily quiet time with kids in their bedrooms
• Going to a park (kids play, and you rest on the bench)
• Enlisting your older kids to spend time playing/teaching the younger ones
• Keeping busy bins/quiet bins on hand

Of course, if you have super young kids, I know some of the above ideas won’t work for you. I’m not in that life stage anymore, but I remember it quite well. Your quiet time might require more intentional planning on your part.

Here are some ideas:

• Join a homeschool co-op that doesn’t require your involvement every time they meet.
• Schedule regular visits with grandparents or other family members.
• Swap time with friends. They watch your kids for a couple of hours, and then next week you watch theirs.
• Schedule specific weeknights when your spouse can play with the kids while you spend time alone.
• Hire a babysitter. Scout your church, homeschool co-op, or neighborhood for teens looking for experience and a little extra cash.

Alone Time Versus Connection With Others

Sometimes, we really do desire time away from people so that we can be alone. However, it’s worth mentioning that a good practice is to check in with yourself to assess if alone time is really what you’re craving.

It could be that some healthy connection with others is what will truly fill your bucket and provide the self-care you need. Especially if you are feeling disconnected from others as a result of being home with kids all day, or are in a difficult life season.

Connection with life-giving friends can be a healing balm for a soul that’s weary. It’s easy to think that we want to be left alone when what we really desire is to be heard and understood.

Conclusion

The desire to have alone time is a real thing for homeschool moms. You’re not selfish for wanting it. If you’re ready to give up trying to create self-care time for you, please don’t. I know it can feel overwhelming even trying to figure out how to make it happen, but I know you can do it.

Remember to be intentional about your needs. No one can make it happen for you. If you’re struggling to make heads or tails of it, mention it to a friend. Some of my best ideas come from talking things through with loving friends who want the best for me.

It can be hard work, but to keep you a holistically healthy mom (mind, body, and soul), pursuing much needed alone time will be a homeschool mom win!

How about you? Do you struggle to find time for yourself? Have you found creative ways to get alone time as a homeschool mom? Leave a comment and let me know!