What is your biggest challenge when it comes to self-care? What frequently gets in the way of regular monthly, weekly, or even daily self-care? If you’re a busy mom like me, I know it’s a struggle. However, the reality is: we need to make time for self-care!

We moms know that taking time for ourselves is essential and yet we struggle to make it happen. From the most basic physical needs of eating and sleeping to activities that nurture our spirits like prayer or journaling, incorporating adequate self-care into our lives often just doesn’t happen. 

I’m venturing a guess that a huge self-care obstacle for busy moms is time.

Who has time for meaningful self-care when you don’t even have time to clean the kitchen floor that is driving you nuts and you don’t think you can take it one second longer because it needs to be swept and the rugs are dirty and you’re sick of stepping on those sticky spots!! 

Can you relate?

Making Time for Self-Care is Challenging

Too often in my thinking, I allow that kitchen floor to steal my sanity and my self-care time! Of course, while I’m cleaning it I discover that the trash is full and the cleaning supplies under the sink are in disarray. 

I tell myself I’ll just take ten minutes to clean up these few little messes, and that will still give me ten minutes outside.

Ten is better than none, right?

Except that it doesn’t just take me ten minutes. One glance at the clock and it’s time to start dinner so we’re not late for soccer practice.

Suddenly, my plan to sit on the porch swing for thirty minutes basking in the sun while browsing a new recipe book from the library is quickly evaporating.

Sure, after my cleaning rampage I maybe feel better because the dirty kitchen floor with its sticky spots is no longer screaming at me.

Unfortunately, I’ve missed a chance to enjoy a gorgeous autumn day. And just like Clarice from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I find myself singing “There’s always tomorrow for dreams to come true…”

Maybe this isn’t your exact scenario but it’s too frequently mine. I often get sucked into cleaning tasks that weren’t on the day’s radar.

(I do love a clean kitchen.) 

What I really need after a full day of homeschooling is a small respite alone doing something I enjoy.

Unfortunately, all too often I prioritize it with something I don’t really enjoy; something important or urgent that needs my attention. I ignore what my heart is crying out for with a dutiful substitute.

Honestly, I think I need a personal life coach to yell at me in the moment: “Walk away from the mess! You can do it! The sunshine is calling you!”

Recognize Your Need For Self-Care

How do your self-care attempts get hijacked? What causes you to say “no” to something life-giving?

Guilt?

Procrastination?

Indecision?

Distraction?

Whatever your self-care slayer may be, the end result is the same. Over time, repeatedly pushing aside life-giving activities for myself eventually leaves my soul feeling fragile, my nerves on edge and my body in a state of rebellion. 

Not a good space.

While I wish I could say I’m an expert at seizing self-care opportunities, I am not.

I’m still learning to honor routines and habits that I know give life to my soul and health to my body. I often fail to recognize my needs on a given day, let alone create space in my day to address the need. 

Like the ability to give myself permission to sit down in the afternoon for a thirty-minute reading break.

Or telling the kids I’m shutting my bedroom door to rest my eyes for a while.

Sometimes it’s giving myself permission to cancel our school day so I can have a sick day.

Like you, I am still learning how to honor what I need, too.

Let’s Be More Kind to Ourselves

Recently, while reading The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi, I was challenged by her Lazy Genius Principle #13: Be Kind to Yourself. After reading that chapter, I wondered: Am I being kind to myself?

Are you being kind to yourself? 

Yikes. Um, sometimes? Is that sufficient? (Answer in case you were wondering: not really.)

But I want to be kinder.

As I mature in years (ahem) and frequently feel the signs of my age, I recognize that kind self-care is not selfish at all. There is no guilt to be found. There is no shame in admitting: Wow. I am just not feeling well today. I’m going to take it easy and schedule a nap this afternoon. 

Look, I may not be lifting weights at the gym or curating a six pack of abs, but this body is the only one I have. Not only that, but it’s telling me more and more that I need to honor it as best I can. 

Besides just the physical aspect, I’m understanding more and more the value of activities that challenge my mind and nourish my soul.

Things like having a hobby so I can be creative (FYI, homeschooling is NOT a hobby), brushing up on my Spanish, making space for relationships with friends and keeping a gratitude journal.

These acts of self-care are ways that I’m being kind to myself and value who I am becoming.

Make Time For Holistic Self-Care

In a nutshell, figuring out what brings you life and then doing it is what holistic self-care is all about. It’s a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, lifelong journey of caring for yourself: mind, body and soul. In turn, you will be far more equipped to effectively care for others. 

Truly, mamas-you will be better for it.

You don’t have to be perfect at it.

You will fail and clean your kitchen instead of ____________ (fill in the blank).

We’re busy moms just doing the best we can and that is all we can do. We can be kind to ourselves in the process.

Don’t give up in the hard seasons when self-care seems entirely unattainable. Identify what you need, how often you need it and how you can make it happen.

Fight for it!

Enlist the help of your family and friends. We need a community to hold us accountable and cheer us on, especially in hard seasons of life. 

Practical Steps for Self-Care

First, take a moment and celebrate what you’re doing well. I know there is something! In what way are you totally rocking it out? 

Next, in what area (mind, body, soul) might you need to initiate a step towards greater self-care? Be kind to yourself here.

Do you have a pressing health issue?

An increasing need for a creative outlet or hobby?

A longing to re-engage a passion that used to bring you joy?

Regular time for prayer?

(By the way, we often think of self-care as activities we need to add to our already busy lives. You may be in a season where subtracting something from your life is what’s needed. This could include things like deleting a social media account or canceling cable TV).

Today is the day, busy mama. 

Making time for self-care is all about making it a priority and having a plan. It’s choosing the porch swing over the kitchen floor moments of each day. It can also be an amazing mom retreat, too.

Make a Plan for Your Self-Care

Need help getting started? The best step toward positive change really begins with a solid plan.

Making time for self-care requires intentionality. It won’t become a reality without you making it happen. However, once you develop a solid strategy for self-care and start implementing it little by little, you will reap the healthy benefits!