Planning a mom retreat is a time to celebrate! It means you’ve moved past just contemplating some needed time away. You’re making it a reality! 

Planning a mom retreat can also be a little overwhelming. You may wonder: Can I really pull this off when most days I can’t go to the bathroom without the kids hunting me down like bloodhounds?

I want to assure you: it can be done!

It’s just gonna take some thoughtful planning and a little creativity.

(If you’re not sure why mom retreats are important, I suggest you read Why You Need a Mom Retreat…Now!)

Before we dig into planning, though, let me keep things real for you. I would love to say I’m currently sitting in a swanky downtown hotel, typing at a fancy desk beside a window overlooking the city skyline, enjoying a delicious dinner via room service.

Then I could tell you about the amazing mom retreat I’m on and be the envy of all moms. 

Well.

I’m actually sitting in my bedroom at an old school desk (that adds no aesthetic beauty to the decor), typing and eating squares of peppermint dark chocolate, while I run a fan to hide the loud noises of my (beloved) family.

With that disclosure, let’s get started!

Step One: Acknowledge You Need a Mom Retreat

Before we get to the nitty gritty details of your mom retreat (like which movie you’re going to watch first-sans interruptions) let’s back up and address what I believe is a critical first step: recognizing the internal needs you have as a busy mom caring for your family in this season of life. 

Being a mom is no easy task.

Regardless of how many children you have or whether you homeschool or not, every mom feels a part of herself (interests, hobbies, loves, self-care) take a backseat to everyone else’s needs.

We do amazing work crafting a home for our children. Top it with homeschooling or extra employment and you are running at maximum capacity.

It’s so easy to set aside your needs day after day, year after year, until you find yourself in an unhealthy situation physically, mentally, spiritually, relationally, etc.

When we feel our needs trying to break through the busyness and noise, stopping long enough to hear those inner needs and acknowledging them as real and valid is a difficult first step.

Don’t just think about them, write them down.

What do I need right now?

What is my heart and soul longing for in this season of my family’s life?

Is anything out of balance? 

Step Two: Voice Your Need For a Mom Retreat

The second step in planning a mom retreat is voicing the need. Who can help make your mom retreat a reality? Your spouse? A close friend or family member? A counselor or pastor?

This person is instrumental in affirming your needs, and can cheerlead your efforts. 

This step can also be difficult. It’s hard to acknowledge we need or want time away. It might feel ridiculous asking for something that seems impossible (selfish, even?).

Perhaps you fear not being supported or understood. Honestly, I frequently struggle to express what I really want and need. It feels vulnerable.

The bigger the ask, the greater the struggle. Asking my spouse for two nights away for a retreat can feel difficult. 

Step Three: Choose the Type Of Mom Retreat

Now you need to choose the type of mom retreat you want to have. Let me suggest a few options. I think of a mom retreat as a day and night, or couple of days, of being completely away from home. As an introverted mom, those times are most refreshing for me.

It doesn’t have to be that, though. If retreats are new for you, start small. For example, when I started practicing intentional self-care, I had what my husband and I referred to as Mom’s Night Off.

For several months, every Tuesday after I cooked dinner, my spouse came home and was in charge of everything from dinner until bedtime.

I escaped to my room to have dinner alone, and enjoy the rest of the evening to myself. This option is simple and requires no travel or cost. It’s a great starting point.

Another option is a day retreat. The benefit here is you don’t need any overnight accommodations. Also, you can arrive home after dinner has been made and cleaned up, or even after the kids are put to bed!

I suggest a minimum time allotment of 4-6 hours so that you don’t feel rushed. It’s a long enough stretch of time to accomplish planned activities. 

One important note: While most introverts find great enjoyment in having time by themselves, retreats do not have to be experienced alone! More extroverted moms may embrace the idea of retreating with another mom or a group.

Mom Retreats With Friends Or Family

I attended a homeschool convention with three other moms a few years ago. It was a wonderful time of connecting with a friend from college, and two of her friends I had never met. Connecting together as moms was refreshing as we talked a lot about a favorite topic: homeschooling! Granted, attending workshops and being surrounded by thousands of strangers wasn’t my ideal, but it was still nourishing.

Last year I traveled to Asheville, NC with my sister and mom for a couple days browsing cute little shops, eating at local restaurants, and bonding together over shared favorite movies we watched growing up (Parent Trap and Blue Hawaii!). Depending on your personality, or what you need, a trip like this can definitely count as a mom retreat.

Step Four: Schedule Your Mom Retreat

Okay, it’s time to get this retreat scheduled! It may seem like there’s really no good time for you to get away. That’s normal. But there may be days/weeks that are better than others, so start there and think creatively.

(This is where expressing your doubts about making this retreat actually happen can really help you think outside the box. Often what we think is impossible is quite doable, but we need help seeing the possibilities! Thank you great friends who have done this for me!) 

Some questions to consider:

• Who will watch the kids?
• Will they (or you) need time off from work or other commitments?
• Will you need to schedule a vacation day(s) from homeschooling?
• Would this retreat work better over a holiday break?
• Is there something that can be taken off the schedule for one week/weekend, in order to allow your retreat to happen? 

Once you have the date, think about a start/end time. Will you leave in the morning before breakfast? Will you return in time for dinner or after the kids are in bed?  

Step Five: Structured vs. Unstructured Mom Retreats

Are you someone who prefers structured time with a schedule and a plan? Or, do you prefer to let go of schedules and routines to do what you want, when you want?

Think beforehand whether you’ll have specific plans and goals for your retreat, or if what you need is an unscheduled, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants time away.

Maybe a hybrid of both?

Have a plan, but also give yourself flexibility to adapt the time if your needs aren’t being met. You may find you’re bored and unfulfilled if you have no schedule to your day, but don’t cram in so much that you come away exhausted.

Consider your personality and what makes you feel comfortable. Operating outside of your “norm” may be just what you need. If you are constantly task list-driven, carrying a large task list into your mom retreat could prevent you from relaxing. 

If you feel like you never accomplish some personal goals that are piling up on your mental to-do list (my husband would say this is me!), select one or two of those you’ll aim to complete on your retreat.

For example, I brought my journal so I could get some thoughts and feelings down on paper in an environment conducive to reflection. It was fulfilling to do some self-examination and dreaming for the future. Another time I brought several books I wanted to finish reading. 

Whatever tasks or goals you choose, ensure they are conducive to self-care. Working on the family budget is probably not going to be relaxing or soul-nourishing!

Final Considerations For Your Mom Retreat

Mom Retreat Location

You don’t have to leave the comforts of your own home to go on a retreat. Instead, stay home and ship everyone else out (kids camping trip with dad!?). The benefits of staying at home allows the comforts of your own bed and no packing or spending much money.

Be aware, however, that being home can present challenges in staying focused. Can you really retreat and not see house projects, strewn-about toys and dirty dishes? 

Most of my retreats have happened away from home. I’m blessed that my parents have extra space for visitors and live less than an hour away. This affords me my own bedroom and bathroom, and I can come and go as I please, or sometimes join in with their activities (antique mall, anyone?). 

If you don’t have friends or relatives with spare space you could use (think vacation homes, cabins, campers, etc.), other options include staying in a hotel, bed and breakfast, or renting an Airbnb.

Can you budget for the swanky downtown hotel with room service? Maybe you stay at the chain hotel in town, and you can bring your own food to help balance the hotel room splurge? 

Mom Retreat Activities

It may be difficult to imagine what you’ll do with your time. Be creative. If you’re retreating with a friend, you can compare lists and incorporate things you both love. 

You’ll find a list of activities from my past retreats, as well as some potential ideas and questions to help guide your planning on The Ultimate Mom Retreat Planning Guide. 

Returning From Your Mom Retreat

It can be hard to say goodbye to precious alone time, especially if you feel it wasn’t enough. In that respect, I encourage you to keep future mom retreats on your radar, and better yet, your planner.

Go ahead and get that next retreat scheduled as soon as you return.

Also, consider implementing something like Mom’s Night Off once a week, or every other week. This will give you something to look forward to, and a chance to incorporate regular and critical self-care. 

Additionally, stepping back immediately into the fullness of life can be filled with mixed emotions if you’re in a burnt-out state. A few hours or days away is not a panacea.

Prepare your heart for the return. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself grace…and start dreaming about that next retreat!

The Ultimate Mom Retreat Planner

Before you plan your own mom retreat, be sure to download your FREE Ultimate Mom Retreat Planning Guide. It has practical questions to help you plan, activity ideas, a packing list, fillable schedule, and a retreat blessing.

It’s crafted out of my heart for moms, and my highest hope is that it will bless you, and enable you to find time to nourish yourself.