Are you an unexpected homeschool mom this year? Circumstances can change quickly. There are a variety of scenarios that contribute to parents deciding that homeschooling is what’s best for their child.

A sudden transition like this can create fear and worry in an parent! I have some encouraging truths about homeschooling that will hopefully strengthen your resolve and calm your uncertainty.

*(This post was originally written in 2020 during the pandemic. It’s been updated as of March 2023.)

I have what I call a mixed-schooling family: my youngest three are homeschooled and my oldest two are in public high school. Like most families, last spring we were all happily working our routines and schedules. Then the schools shut down, and we were thrown into the unexpected.

I was uncertain how this abrupt change would affect our homeschool schedule, or how I could best support my high schoolers in the transition.

Total transparency: I was probably most concerned about how I was going to handle all of this change! (Who Moved My Cheese, anyone?). It worked out and we all hoped things would be back to normal next school year.

But nothing in 2020 is normal.

What School Looks Like This Year

This school year continues to be atypical. I started our homeschool year at the end of August, about a week prior to my public-schooled daughters starting theirs. Because of continued restrictions, they started school with 100% remote learning, but now follow a blended learning model.

(Sidenote: There is a difference between what is meant by “homeschooling” as most people tend to think of it, and “schooling-at-home” where your child is enrolled in an online or virtual public school. For the sake of this article, I’m using the term “homeschooling” here to include both scenarios because I feel the 5 Truths for the Unexpected Homeschooling Mom are for any mom figuring out having their kids at home unexpectedly for school.)

There are definitely still questions and uncertainties. Who knows how the remainder of the year will play out? We just plan to take it day-by-day and be flexible for any change that might occur.

We created a dedicated space somewhat separate from the rest of the house. As homeschoolers, you can kind of spread out everywhere, but I knew my oldest two would benefit from having their own desks in a room that might be less distracting than the dining room table.

I struggle to find balance with how much I oversee my high schoolers on their virtual learning days. I want to allow them some independence, but feel they also need to help with basic chores during the day. 

As you can see, just because I’m a homeschooling mom, doesn’t mean that I have it all figured out. There has been a learning curve. I am sure there are many moms feeling the same way. (And in reality, every year is a bit of a learning curve as our kids are growing and changing, right?)

I believe if you can embrace these 5 Truths for the Unexpected Homeschool Mom, you will be well equipped for the year, no matter what type of schooling journey you’re traveling.

The 5 Truths for Unexpected Homeschoolers

1-Relationship Is the Most Important

School years will come and go. It doesn’t feel that way. The days can be LONG (and the years short so the saying goes). I don’t say any of this lightly. With a preschooler, two seniors and my 5th and 7th graders in between, I may be graduating some children this coming spring, but one is a very long way from graduation! 

It’s the relationships that matter most.

I don’t always succeed at remembering this, and I have my days. You know the ones! I’m stressing because we’re not getting things done, my house feels like a dirty mess, and it’s mocking me like the witch from The Wizard of Oz (“You’ll never get me clean, my pretty!”).  

In the moments when all the other things are vying for your attention, try to remember that the relationship between you and your child is what’s most vital. It’s more important than any schoolwork or chores you’ll complete that day.

And, moms, when we are having a bad day for whatever reason, here’s the really hard truth: We need to deal with ourselves first in order to change the course for the day.

This is not easy!

I’ve failed in this many times. It’s so much easier to blame our kids for their whining. Or the fact that no one puts their toys away. Or that you have three urgent things that have to get done TODAY, and it’s already 3 pm and none of them have been started.

While those things contribute to a tough day, we can’t allow them to ruin our day. I have not perfected this, but with grace I am improving. I’ve learned to recognize triggers that start a bad attitude in me, and I know much better now what I can do to reset my trajectory. 

Three Tips for Truth #1

• Hang something significant on the bathroom mirror, kitchen cabinet, fridge, etc. Wherever you will see it often. This can be a note, a quote, a picture. The goal is that when you see it, it will remind you of the importance of that relationship.
• Have a plan to help you refocus throughout the day. Maybe this is five minutes in the bathroom by yourself. Maybe it’s sitting at the table while the kids work and having a cup of tea or coffee. Text a friend, or call your spouse.
• Prayer. Those little whispered prayers are just as powerful as the ones down on your knees. It’s been a powerful tool for me, and ultimately THE BEST tool in my arsenal. We just can’t pull this thing off on our own!

2. A Homeschool Routine Is Key

We are creatures of habit. Most of us appreciate a little procedure to our days. We all like to know what to expect. If you’re an unexpected homeschool mom, a routine will be very helpful.

Children thrive in an environment with clear expectations and routine. I strongly encourage a schedule or routine (these are not the same thing) so that your children are aware of how the day will go down.

This isn’t easy to figure out in the beginning. It takes some time through trial and error to figure out what type of routine works best in your household.

Like love languages, we have different routine languages. Our typical homeschool day might look different than yours. With time, you’ll craft your own.

Also, help your children understand what you expect of them. 

For example, when I knew my high schoolers would be transitioning to a blended learning situation, I clearly outlined my expectations.

Even though they will be learning at home some days, I expect them to be at their desks, logged in by 8:00 am, dressed and ready to go as if they were at the school building. (Okay, the dress code is slightly more flexible at home!) I did this to help them maintain a routine.

Three Tips for Building a Homeschool Routine

• Map out a gentle routine that you think might work well, knowing the personalities and needs of your kids. By gentle I mean not scheduling out every hour, or packing your day with too many things.
• Be willing to change the routine if you see something that’s not working. As homeschoolers, we have the flexibility to make changes without consulting anyone else! Move recess to before lunch? Sure! Have breakfast after we do a read aloud? Why not! 
• Consider yourself in the routine. Are you grouchy in the mornings? Do you need a snack mid-morning to keep your energy up? Maybe 10 minutes to just sit in a chair and watch the birds? Be sure to build routine into the day that considers your needs and wants as well. This is not selfish. It’s crucial!

3. Your Child IS Learning

Children are natural-born learners. We haven’t had to teach our children everything they know, right? I’m thinking of all the times my kids have given me random facts.

For example, I just can’t imagine where my son might have learned about REM sleep!?! Turns out he remembered some great information from You Wouldn’t Want to Live Without Sleep (I love this book series by the way). 

When we provide our children with access to great materials, we can rest in the fact that learning will happen. Sometimes, we are the ones who need to take the deep breath and remember that learning is a lifelong process.

My fifth grader will not learn about every event that occurred in the history of the world from 1850-2020 (our current history cycle) this year. It’s okay! He’s still learning a great deal about what happened in that historical period. Learning is a lifelong process. 

Three Tips for Truth #3

• Sit with your kids when they’re having a snack and ask them what they are learning. Enjoy the conversation and share what you’ve enjoyed learning lately, too.
• Learn something together. Try a new hobby, craft, or recipe. Do it together with no pressure. Your kids will enjoy learning alongside you.
• Ask your children what they are interested in learning this year. Make it a priority to incorporate some of those topics into their school year. So often, it’s all about what we want them to learn. We fail to consider what it is they would like to discover in learning.

Discuss how they might like to engage with the material creatively (presenting something to the family, drawing a picture or making a collage, or having a LEGO reenactment.)

In our homeschool these past two years, I’ve endeavored to practice this by having my kids write down all the things they would like to know more about. I ask them to hold me accountable to allowing time and space for this to happen. Here’s a free printable to help you.

4. Some Days Are Just HARD!

Things WILL happen that you won’t be able to control. Even with your best night of sleep and the best attitude at your disposal (which are helpful!), these days are just plain hard.

For example, you’re out with the kids for a quick errand and you get a flat tire, the internet won’t connect, or the computer crashes and the basement floods.

Give yourself plenty of grace on these days.

Everyone has them, and you’re bound to have at least one or two at some point in the school year. 

My best practical advice for a day like this: ditch the routine! Find a great movie for the kids to watch and pop some popcorn. They’ll think you’re awesome, you’ll find some time to handle the issue at hand, and maybe even get a chance to join in with the kids.

5. You CAN Do This Unexpected Homeschool Mom!

It’s not an uncommon belief that the provision of a good education for children should be done by professional teachers that have degrees and experience. It is true that many professional teachers are excellent educators, but they are not the only ones who can educate children.

You are the professional on your child. You are equipped to lead your child in their educational journey. 

This is not to say it will come easily, or that you won’t need to utilize the help of others in certain areas. There will be uncertainties and things you don’t know, but those are hurdles you can jump.

Think for a moment of other challenging things you have done in your life and obstacles you have overcome. Consider accomplishments from your own school or professional career.

Being an unexpected homeschool mom is just one more challenge, but it’s well within your reach!

Final Tips For the Unexpected Homeschool Mom

• Don’t go it alone. Seek out support from friends, family, and/or online communities. Everyone needs a cheerleader or two.
• Educate yourself. Not sure how best to help your child learn multiplication facts? Not sure what curriculum will help your child with spelling? There are resources galore online, from workbooks to online programs to free games. The answers to your questions are out there. If you can’t find them yourself, ask that veteran homeschool mom you know. I’ve no doubt she can at least point you in the right direction!

If you’re an unexpected homeschool mom, I sincerely hope you experience success and growth this homeschool year. You CAN do this great task ahead of you!