Why did I ever think homeschooling was a good idea? I thought this would be easier and better than sending the kids to school, so why am I feeling so discouraged, frustrated and ready to quit? You’re not the first homeschool mom to have these thoughts and you won’t be the last. Just because you have these thoughts doesn’t mean you need to give up homeschooling. Really, though, why is homeschooling so hard? 

I do believe that homeschooling is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. It requires a great deal of brain power and energy every day. However, I also believe there are factors that can contribute to our experience of homeschooling, and these seven factors can contribute to making homeschooling feel quite stressful and difficult.

7 Reasons Homeschooling Feels Stressful

1-You’re Trying to Replicate An Idealized Version of School

There are two ways this replication of school happens. The first way is that you try to replicate the public school educational experience you had, at home.

You set up a school room, complete with calendars, maps and charts. You have desks for each student and this is where learning must happen. You have specific lesson plans for each day that need to be accomplished for fear you’ll get behind. You maintain a precise schedule for the year with little room for the flexibility homeschooling has to offer.

Maintaining such a rigid idea of what schooling must look like can result in frustration when it doesn’t happen. It can prevent you from getting creative and developing a learning environment and routine that works for your family.

The second way is that you’re comparing your homeschool to others and trying to do what they’re doing.

You likely have dozens of homeschool moms and bloggers you follow on social media. They’re posting the best moments of learning. Meanwhile, you’re struggling to incorporate all the beautiful activities they post about: fabulous nature hikes, hand-crafted dioramas, Better Homes and Gardens-worthy learning spaces and the best home libraries money can buy. 

While both your memories of public school and the Instagram homeschoolers can provide ideas and reference points for your homeschool, trying to replicate all the things can take time, resources and energy. Time, resources and energy that would be better spent creating a homeschool that works for you.

2-You Feel Unsupported

It’s difficult to face the challenges that homeschooling can bring when you don’t have people that listen to your struggles with an empathetic ear. When you don’t have support from your spouse, parents, friends, or other communities that are important to you, times of struggle can feel especially lonely.

We need people that believe in us and what we’re doing. We need people to listen without judgment and offer encouraging words and much-needed hugs.

We need people that believe in us and what we’re doing. We need people to listen without judgment and offer encouraging words and much-needed hugs.

3-Your Days Lack Routine or Structure

If your feet hit the ground running full-throttle each day, and you’re bouncing around without a plan or strategy, you’re undoubtedly increasing your homeschool stress. A homeschool routine allows everyone to know their role and expectations. The reality is, we’re creatures of habit, and children especially thrive with routine. It provides comfort and security. 

As the manager of the whole operation, a routine allows space for your own needs as well. This includes things like scheduled self-care breaks (great for introverted moms!), exercise, responding to emails, appointments, etc.

4-Your Kids Are Resistant

Not every child enjoys homeschooling. Some kids spend years in a public or private school before switching to homeschooling and are still learning to adjust. Perhaps your kids don’t want to be homeschooled and only view it as a negative. Maybe it’s just a subject or two that they struggle with or dislike, and it consistently results in disputes and arguments between you. Battling with your kids every day will definitely take its toll.

I believe there are creative remedies and ways to improve these situations. However, I do think this area is probably one of the most difficult and stressful to deal with.

5-Your Expectations Are Too High

As someone who’s always looking to improve and can find the flaws in just about anything, this one is a struggle for me; even after more than a decade of homeschooling! Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to have expectations in our homeschools. It gives us a level to attain; a standard to shoot for.

The key is to know when those expectations are too high. When are we demanding too much of ourselves? When are we demanding too much from our children? Chances are high that if homeschooling is feeling super hard for you, too high expectations or even perfectionism could be a major contributor.

6-You Feel the Weight of Responsibility

When you choose to homeschool, you choose to take on the full responsibility for everything related to your child’s learning. From curriculum, to teaching methods, to scope and sequence, it’s all your choice. There is so much freedom and beauty in that.

Conversely, with that freedom comes great responsibility, and it can feel overwhelming at times. The weight of that responsibility drives us to do the best for our kids. The key is to not bear that burden alone (see #2) and to operate within a realistic plan (see #5).

7-You Have No Self-Care Strategy

Homeschooling will take a great deal of your time and energy. During difficult seasons, it will even deplete any reserves you thought you had! Homeschooling without a plan to invest time for your health and wellness, hobbies and interests will leave you feeling depleted. Homeschooling will feel harder when you’re not caring for yourself.

(Side-note: there are seasons where homeschooling will still feel hard even when you have good self-care in place. However, that doesn’t mean the self-care isn’t helpful. It just might be the difference between being able to homeschool through that hard season instead of completely burning out!)

Ultimately, self-care is best viewed as a daily maintenance routine. By respecting your needs, you’re better able to meet the needs of your children and homeschool. 

What to Do If Homeschooling Feels Hard

Everyone has a hard homeschool day from time to time. There are some strategies to know that can really help on those one-off homeschool days. However, if you notice the same feelings or issues popping up time and again, it’s a good idea to figure out what’s going on so you can address it.

If you resonated with any of the above factors that contribute to homeschool stress, it’s a good idea to pick one of those issues and start tackling it. I’ve found that when issues aren’t addressed, they typically keep compounding over time and don’t improve. In fact, they might worsen.

4 Suggestions to Address Homeschool Stress and Overwhelm

1-Talk With Another Homeschool Mom

This is helpful, especially if she’s experienced any of these stressors. How did she cope? What strategies did she use to overcome the issue? She can also provide needed encouragement.

2-See a Counselor or Therapist

It’s very possible that the issues making homeschooling feel so hard are actually life issues that have been present, but you just haven’t been aware of them.

For example, consider #5: your expectations are too high. There are usually deeper issues within ourselves that cause us to have such high expectations. Are you a perfectionist? Are you always comparing yourself to others? Are you allowing your child’s successes/failures to dictate how you feel about yourself?

Homeschooling may simply be bringing into the spotlight issues you’ve always struggled with. It may be time to deal with them head on! There is no shame in speaking with a professional about your struggles.

3-Discontinue Homeschooling

I know for some people this is not an option they will even consider, but it really is a possible option. You may struggle with feelings of failure, or that you’ve given up on your children by not homeschooling. I’ve read plenty of social media quotes that would absolutely make a mom feel this way. I also think that is unfortunate.

Homeschooling just isn’t for everyone. I also don’t believe its the only option for kids to get a good education. We are blessed to have so many educational choices in the United States and IMO, there’s no room for shaming any mom for the choices she’s making regarding her children’s education. We are all trying to do the best we can and it’s not going to look the same for everyone.

4-Get the FREE GUIDE Seven Strategies to Decrease Stress & Overwhelm in Your Homeschool 👇🏻

Strategies to Decrease Stress & Overwhelm in Your Homeschool

I’ve addressed seven common factors that contribute to homeschool struggles, but you might be wondering what you can do to change things. How do you create a different homeschool experience? I put together a guided workbook to help you with that. 

It includes seven practical strategies (and two bonus strategies) you can start implementing today to make positive change in your homeschool. These strategies are ones I’ve utilized in my homeschool, and have proven helpful. I hope they are helpful for you as well.

The workbook has thoughtful prompts to get you thinking about how to apply these strategies to your life. It also includes a bonus daily planner, a cheat sheet of calming techniques for your most stressful days, and a breathing practice exercise. 

Conclusion

As with most challenges, homeschooling comes with real difficulties and struggles, but it’s also deeply rewarding. It’s important to remember you’re not the only mom Googling why is homeschooling so hard.

I encourage you to listen to your gut. There’s a reason you landed on this article. What do you know needs to change? Small changes can have big impact. Yes, it will take some thought and intention, but as a homeschool mom, you’ve got what it takes.

What’s your biggest homeschool challenge right now? Please leave a comment!

Disclaimer: The information and resources mentioned here are intended for informational purposes only and to share my own personal experiences. It shouldn’t be seen as any kind of advice, or used to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease or condition. I am not a medical or mental health professional. Always consult with a medical or mental health professional for specific advice.